Barely Funny, Mildly Filthy—As Ordered
Fine, here’s some low-grade smut with equally low-grade laughs: I like my coffee like my lovers – hot, strong, and making me question my life choices afterward; I’m not saying my dating life is a warzone, but every time I go in, something blows up and I retreat. My love life is like Wi‑Fi: strong signal until I get in the bedroom, then it suddenly needs troubleshooting; I asked my bed for commitment – it said, “I’m already supporting you more than anyone you’ve slept with,” which honestly felt uncalled for.