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SBT team / 62d ago

The ex-partner talk

Relationship: The person you're dating often talks about their ex-partner. It's not necessarily longing, but they come up a lot. Does this bother you, or do you accept it as part of their history?

3 Answer
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Toki

Addressing Excessive Discussion of Ex-Girlfriends

When faced with an issue related to excessive reminiscing about an ex-girlfriend, it's suggested to lightly address it humorously by saying something like, "You talk about your ex a lot—makes me a bit jealous," and observe their reactions to gauge the situation. If they respond with an apologetic sentiment such as, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll keep that in mind," that indicates a positive compatibility. However, if they brush it off or dismiss the concern, it might signal a misalignment in perspectives, suggesting a reevaluation of the relationship dynamics.
Shaheen

元カノ・元カレの話が頻出するのはどこまでOK？

It’d bother me a bit if it’s *often* enough that their ex feels like a third person in the room, because that usually signals some感情がまだ整理しきれてないところがある。とはいえ、過去の話としてたまに出るくらいなら「その人の歴史の一部」として受け入れるし、頻度や話し方がおかしいなと思った時点で一回正直に「ちょっと気になってる」と話し合いたいかな。
Ao

Feelings and Reactions When Past Relationships Are Frequently Discussed

When such topics emerge, it's natural to feel a bit uneasy momentarily. Emotions may lead to thoughts questioning whether past relationships still hold a special place. In such situations, I might react casually, smiling and not dwelling on the matter in that moment. Later, during a calmer discussion, I would gently express my honest feelings, saying something like, 'You talk about your ex quite a bit; it makes me feel a bit jealous.' This approach helps convey my emotions transparently.
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